Wednesday, November 15, 2006

On melancholy

1 a: an abnormal state attributed to an excess of black bile and characterized by irascibility or depression... 2 b: causing or tending to cause sadness or depression of mind or spirit - Web10

Long story short, I'm for it. I join President Carter in doing my part to affirm our national malaise. I urge my fellow citizens to embrace their inner darkness, get to know their shadow, and enjoy a moment of personal gloom.

And why not? This is not a Disney movie, and we don't all live in a theme park called Happyland. Uh-oh, maybe I didn't get the memo. Is real life all about being cheerful 24/7? Okay, so we're not supposed to experience the ups and downs, and everybody is better off either ignoring or denying their reality. As the saying goes, I stand corrected.

Yesterday I was walking around the back yard - this is mainly what I do on weekends - picking apples off the ground, tossing some in the compost and putting some in a basket, pulling the odd weed, picking the last few peppers, beans, tomatoes. A faint tingle of sadness washed over me for no particular reason, and it occurred to me, okay, so this is fall. I happen to enjoy fall, but that doesn't mean I'm all buoyant and happy about it.

It's going to frost tonight, so I have to do something with the more tender potted plants. We'll need firewood soon. The furnace is already in use at night. I'll only have to mow a few more times until April. I already have some raking to do, and I'll wait until all the leaves are down before doing the serious pruning of trees. It's fall, nothing depressing about it.

Tell you what. I'll try not to drag anybody else down with me when I'm feeling down myself, okay? I won't insist that everyone around me see and acknowledge how dark thw world looks at the moment that it all looks hopelessly gloomy to me. And in return don't ask me to be happy, which is code for 'act happy when you're around me because I don't want to hear about it'.

1 comment:

lulu said...

I have no issues with your issues.