To bling or not to bling?

That is the question the sporting sage of the airwaves brought before us humble listeners this morning. My timing was perfect. I tuned in just in time to hear the loud mouth of Frank DeFord quoting the loud mouth of Charles Barkley at the very end of the former's weekly pearl of wisdom, so I was lucky enough to miss the heaving bulk of his commentary on the weighty world issue of the day, the NBA dress code.

League management (franchise/capital/property owners) is requiring their workers (players/labor/means of production) to dress in "business casual" attire when appearing in public as a member (employee/human resource) of the team (company/plantation), i.e. traveling, hotels, promotional events. No more sideways caps, headphones, vintage jerseys, warmups, tee-shirts, no mo baggy hip-hop pants, no mo gaudy gold jewelry. Yo, no more loud expressive stylin' individuality. Will it be the end of Western civilization as we know it? Has that already happened? If so, is that a bad thing? Why does anybody care?

The league cares because they have a product to sell, and the suits are worried about their numbers. Players care because they have careers and endorsements to protect, and they're worried about the numbers. Older and white fans care because they're offended by black gangsta players. (Note to self: When someone says something is wrong because it offends them, they have no argument.) Younger and black fans care because they like the way Allen Iverson swaggers and talks back to the man. The rest of us have tuned out the NBA (NFL, NHL, MLB, BFD) as it increasingly resembles the World Wrestling Federation or whatever they call that other road show.

If Commissioner David Stern and the other impresarios think treating their performers like children - in order to make them look like adults - will help them maintain market share, go for it. See if the grown-ups get their way by acting like children themselves. If the bad-boy players comply, I can't wait to see what the unintended consequences will be. The fact that Mr. Expert Frank DeFord and I are even talking about it proves that it's working, because, as Mr. Steinbrenner knows, any publicity is good publicity.