Out of State

It feels surprisingly good to go back to work after a long weekend away. I only took one day off, a Friday to travel to a major family gathering for my Mom’s 91st birthday, but a three-day weekend still breaks up the routine, especially when it involves travel out of state.

The ease of re-entry is due in part to having gotten all of the work done last week to publish 20 policies this week. When the admin team gets them posted to the website, I will have a lot of quality checking to do, and it’s good to have something to do. The relative calm of the office routine is much needed as I recover from a difficult drive home.

It wasn’t traffic or weather or car trouble, thank goodness, just my own tired, cranky condition coming off a weekend with my dear parents and siblings in the context of celebrating Mom’s birthday while Mom and Dad prepare to move out of their house. And it was a good party, with plenty of family time sandwiched between a quiet supper on Friday night and a buffet brunch on Sunday morning, but by the end I was worn out and irritable. The manic, well-intentioned activity among brothers and sisters reached a saturation point, and I had to go. It also felt good to sleep in my own bed.

Mom herself was fine. The matriarch in her dotage was surrounded by her loving kids. There was enough activity in the house that she didn’t have much time to complain about her vision or hearing, and when she got tired she took a nap. Sister Ann did a good job of getting Mom out to get a pedicure, which lightened her mood and gave them something indulgent to do together. Soon the torch will be passed.

Bottom line, everyone was present and accounted for, doing their best to make a positive contribution, which sometimes ends up being too much of a good thing. The three sisters really do mean well, and in their earnest efforts to control the flow of the day and make everything alright they occasionally get out of control.

The enlightened brothers in law seem to have their acts together and know better than to intervene except when absolutely necessary. It’s a good thing there were college football games on TV that interested them – OSU vs. MSU, UGA vs. UT, South Carolina vs. Florida – giving them a benign sporting presence in the living room all Saturday afternoon. It also gave me something to talk about with Fred and Barney on their own terms about things they know more about that I do. And my team won.

Gven and I got there first for a change. Mom and Dad had soup ready, we had a drink, and I sliced some peach bread, and had a nice supper. We got the guest bedroom by default. Ann and Fred arrived from Detroit after dinner, and we had dessert together. After a pleasant evening, they stayed overnight with Mom and Dad’s friends the Kings, whom they have gotten to know through their kids in Michigan.

Dad made breakfast, and we went about some chores he had planned: trim the blue spruce in the front yard, bag and load those and other clippings in our car to take to the dump down by the shooting range at the Sportsman’s Club; load bags of plastic, glass, metal, and paper to drop off at the recycling center; buy big bags of bird seed at the Feed Store in Crossville; buy cereal at Food City.

Jean and Barney arrived from Greenville early Saturday afternoon in time for lunch and stayed at the Hampton Inn just off the interstate. Mary Jo arrived late in the afternoon from Atlanta and stayed in a motel the first night, then moved into a guest bedroom and stayed a couple of days before taking her late husband’s ashes up to Raven Rock, Kentucky, where he used to play as a boy.

Jean made sloppy joes, baked beans, and fruit salad for supper, and there were enough people to add the extension to the dining room table, as well as plenty of extended family news to discuss. Intense negotiations followed for hours as we attempted to decide which plates, cups, bowls, spoons, pitchers, serving trays and platters from Mom and Dad’s hutch would go home with whom. This was high on Mom’s agenda so they would have only their essentials to move to their new apartment.

Everyone went to church on Sunday morning, squeezing into one pew in the very back of the Methodist church. Against Mom’s wishes, Lanita, the associate minister, announced that it was Helen’s 91st birthday, and the entire congregation sang Happy Birthday. She also gave a very nice humanistic sermon about salt, about ordinary but essential qualities, and about affirming the inherent good in everyone regardless of their imperfections.

Pete and Cindy arrived from Nashville in time to meet us back at the house after church, and we all caravanned to the Cumberland Mountain State Park restaurant for Sunday brunch. It was another beautiful early autumn day on the plateau, and we took a couple of group photos overlooking the river. Finally everyone was there at one table, and conversations extended to work, co-workers, kids and their school and work relationships, much of it evolving in new and unexpected directions. And fantasy football. I learned a great deal about the world of fantasy NFL and even sat next to someone who is on a first-name basis with Rob Gronkowski.

Leave-taking happened in stages. After brunch everyone gathered back at the parental abode for birthday cake, cards, and gifts. The big one was a new TV stand for Mom and Dad’s new apartment, assuming that they get one soon. Jean and Barney left for South Carolina, and soon after Sven and Gven left for Ohio, with stops for gas and coffee making it home around ten, when Zoe came over with the dog. Re-entry was accomplished without damage to craft or crew.