What this country needs is a good $700 billion acronym. So far, we have to make do with Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP), which, it turns out, will attempt to do many things but will not buy troubled assets. Herewith some helpful suggestions to our wise government officials in Washington for additional programs to go along with TARP:
Troubled Economy Normalization Team (TENT)
Tarnished Rubble Assembly Project (TRAP)
Bailout Under Government Supervision (BUGS)
Creditor Rescue After Pillaging (CRAP)
World Investment Salvage Program (WISP)
Public Underwriting of Kapital Excesses (PUKE)
Systemic Credit Unraveling Mechanism (SCUM)
Collective Relief for Orderly Collapse of the Kingdom (CROCK)
Banking and Investment Leverage Gain Escape (BILGE)
Financial Implosion Legal and Technical Help (FILTH)
Parachutes (Golden) for Investment Security (PIGS)
Domestic Recovery Office Promoting Confidence in Leveraged Outlaws, Thieves, & Hoodlums (DROPCLOTH)
I invite you, I implore you - okay, I dare you - to exercise your rights and duties as a citizen to come up with your own creative ideas for mopping up the mess. Make up your own solutions. They don't necessarily have to be grounded in reality. Because frankly the rich white guys in charge have no idea what to do.
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1 comment:
Genius, Sven. How on earth can anyone top that? I vote for you as the new guy for the job.
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