Monday, December 24, 2007

gifts, gifting, gifted

I hardly know where to begin. And therein lies the problem. When in doubt, make a list.
1. It is good to receive.
2. It is better to give.
3. It is best when the intent of the giver, the suitability of the gift, and the recipient's taste (for which there's no accounting) are in alignment, and some sort of connection is made through the gift.
4. It is equivalent to getting a hole-in-one to achieve that trifecta, that harmonic convergence of intention, spontaneity, and fit. Like the year Gven Golly told her friend Kate that she wanted red cowboy boots for Christmas, which Kate understood intuitively, and they laughed about it. Miraculously Kate came across some red cowboy boots in a store - in Gven's size - and when Gven unwrapped them they really laughed.
5. It is not the thought that counts. It's the gift that counts. If it were the thought, then we would all just send thoughts and dispense with the shopping, the boxes, the wrapping, the gifts. More thoughts, but less money, would be in circulation. The money economy would suffer, and the thought economy would thrive.

If one is gifted in the ultimate Amerikan art of shopping, finding the right gift for the right person becomes an interesting, mindful, creative act that materially and spiritually connects two people. Amazing, transcendent, and profitable! On the other hand, if one is obtuse, reclusive, and stingy, navigating this ritual becomes more difficult. For want of a better metaphor, it's a crap-shoot.

I can go to a store I don't hate, spend some quality time browsing the racks of merchandise, and eventually find an item that appeals to me and reminds me of a certain person on my list. If I'm extremely lucky, they will be delighted. If not, I've just projected my desire onto someone else and given them what I would like, or what I think they should want.

I'm reducing my gift-giving this year to bare essentials. Let's just call it a kind of minimalism. If you can't write an epic or even a sonnet, find it within yourself to take a deep breath and scrawl a haiku.

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