Why I hate Saturday

Get up, get dressed, drink coffee, pick up random junk lying around the house. There's no hurry, since it won't make any difference anyway. Unload laundry from the dryer, load dryer with clean laundry left in washer, wash a load of clothes. Repeat. Go outside and close the gate blown open by the wind; formulate a plan to buy bigger hinges and re-hang the gate securely, as I should have in the first place. Start a fire to stave off the chilly, wet, gray central swingstate day. Curse the darkness.

The house begins to warm up. I wash some dishes for the first time in two weeks and make biscuits, but the biscuits are overdone because I waited until the tops were already showing tinges of brown, and by then it's too late. Drink more coffee, eat a couple of dry biscuits with blackberry preserves, making them edible. The sun comes out. Sweep kitchen and den, take out trash and recycling, formulate theory-of-everything. To wit:

1. The world can be divided into child behavior and adult behavior.
a. Child behavior is characterized by emotivism and chaos.
i. Emotivism bases values (right and wrong) on desires (what I want).
ii. Chaos creates disorder out of order by leaving a trail of messes.
b. Adult behavior is characterized by moralism and control.
i. Moralism bases desires (what I want) on values (right and wrong).
ii. Control creates order out of disorder by constantly cleaning up messes.
2. Actual people exhibit both child behavior and adult behavior.
a. Individuals grow and change at irregular, nonlinear, and unpredictable rates in developing from children into adults.
b. Conflicts develop along the fault lines of relationships where it is either unclear or contested who is the adult and who is the child.

Before I abandon this lame, one-dimensional theory altogether, consider:
1. Who cooks supper, who clears the table, who washes the dishes, who puts them away, who decides where "away" is?
2. Where do the potato peelings, orange rinds, egg shells, coffee grounds, cereal boxes, milk bottles, and bread bags go?
3. The role of sanitation workers as everybody's adult caregiver, and the degrees of childishness based on how much stuff we all throw out for them to pick up.
4. The role of retailers, restaurants, packaging manufacturers, advertising, mining companies, logging companies, makers and users of industrial chemicals, etc., in making and cleaning up messes.

Finally, my ugly theory turns on me, as I notice how reductionistic it is, and how I'm not having a good time making everything around me fit into it.